danny needs a haircut.
and heres a new interview from popjustice about the tour:
"I WANT THE BIG BENDERS BACK!"
So says Dougie Out Of McFly in this 'sensational' and 'hard-rocking' interview wot we have done with a) Dougie and b), c) and d) the rest of The 'Fly.
We have done it because they are out and about doing a series of pop concerts - a tour, if you will - which will explain why most if not all of the following questions are of the 'on the road' variety.
It's tempting to say we joined them backstage on the first night but in truth we just did them on the phone about three weeks ago.
While on tour, do you have any fairly standard rider requirements which could be blown out of all proportion by the tabloid media?
Dougie: Not really, but it's very difficult to get a good diet when you're on the road - most of our food comes from motorway service stations and hotel room service.
Do you eat petrol and trouser presses?
Dougie: No, it's just all the Burger Kings and KFCs. I don't like eating at Wimpy, though - Wimpy sucks.
Wimpy used to have a sausage in a bun 'combo' called a Big Bender. Did you ever get your mouth around a Bender?
Dougie: HAAAA!!!! They had a sausage called a Big Bender? NO WAY. That's an amazing name for a sausage! (Laughs uproariously) Awesome! They should bring that back. Put that in writing! I want the Big Benders back!
Tourbus beds are a bit like coffins. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Harry: A good thing, I think, because if you crash and die then you're already in the coffin, so it does save time because they could just cut the bed out and chuck it straight in the ground. But if you crash then you're screwed either way.
You've got a female string section on tour with you. Do any of them have a fiddle?
Would you like them to have a fiddle?
Harry: Yes, I would like that very much.
People always promise surprises when they go on tour. Is there anything genuinely shocking in your set?
Harry: There is one thing - it's quite shocking but I think people will like it.
Does it involve nudity of any description?
Harry: No, it involves music...
That's not completely shocking, is it? You go and see a band live, and the band plays music. HOLD THE HOME PAGE!
Harry: A fair point. Perhaps it's not that controversial. You'll just have to wait and see. We're very excited about it, though.
Which band are you glad you're not in?
Dougie: I would have to say Franz Ferdinand. I actually quite like their music, but the way they come across on stage just seems really weird. With their weird short haircuts, and their marching. It's too intimidating for a young lass like me!
Are you not just intimidated because you think they might have better hair than you?
Dougie: No! Not at all. Maybe it's subconscious. (Thinks for a bit) No, it's definitely not the hair.
Are there any rituals you all do before you go on stage? A group prayer, perhaps?
Danny: We all have a big poo. All the big American acts say a prayer - McFly have a poo. But there's nothing worse than being on stage and needing to go to the toilet.
Have you ever soiled your underwear on stage? That could be a major problem considering McFly's 'trousers below arse' policy.
Danny: I've always been quite lucky, but I presume you just take a break. What else can you do? You can't poo your pants on stage!
Well you could, but you'd have to make sure you did it each night to make it look as if it was part of the show.
Danny: Yes. That would be typically classy, wouldn't it?
Dougie. Quiet, hairstyle-changing Dougie. You do a new solo song on the tour. Is it 'emo' and should the rest of the band's 'Charlie alarms' be sounding?
Dougie: I'm not that into emo! I suppose I have my emo moments, every now and again. My 'emoments', I suppose you could call them. But no, this song isn't emo! It's standard girl-and-boy stuff.
Harry. You're about to go on stage in Glasgow or somewhere and you realise you've left your hair straighteners on in London. Disaster! What do you do?
Harry: Well, I don't user straighteners now, so...
Well your iron, then.
Harry: I don't iron my clothes. And I don't cook, either.
Come on, Harry, play the game. Presuming you wash from time to time, imagine you've left a tap running in London. You do wash, don't you?
Harry: Yes, let's go for a tap. In that case, I would ring our estate agent and get them to go round to the house and turn the tap off.
You see after all that hassle, that was a really boring answer.
Harry: Hahah! Okay, then - I'd actually reveal that I was a superhero, and I'd fly home, smash through the walls of the house, and pull out the sink with my bare hands. But dramatically, that would create even more of a leak - so I'd get my bed and shove it down the pipes to stop the leaking. I would then bosh through the wall again and fly back up yo Glasgow, and make it on stage in time. Was that dramatic enough for you?
That'll do nicely.
How 'rock and roll', in terms of popular cliche, is your general on-the-road routine?
Harry: I'm hooked on Sudoko. It's not very rock and roll, is it, sitting in your room at 3am with a pen and paper? Oh well.
Is anyone allowed to shit on the tourbus?
Tom: Absolutely not! You cannot shit on the tourbus. It's liquids only.
Tom, be honest. Have you ever broken the 'Number 2' rule?
Tom: I almost did, once. You have to sit down to go for a wee on the tourbus, because if you stand up and you go round a corner it all goes everywhere. One day I sat down and then I thought, 'Hm, I need a fart', and you know how farting has an effect on these things… It almost came out, but fortunately I managed to hold it back in.
Has anyone else ever done one?
Tom: No - we thought there was once but when we investigated it turned out to be a bit of chocolate.